Presenting: My Unicorn

P.s. Today I feel very present. I am starting to know what my body feels like from the inside out. I have lived for so long from the outside in. Living just that little bit outside myself, removed, objective, one step out of beat. The future felt so much safer than anything current. Nothing could touch me there in 'oneday land'. Reality is a very grounding thing. Is it strange to feel like I am starting to live my life through my own eyes? Instead of the fly on the wall observer to the life that someone else was directing. Finally I can control my life and actions. I have lived out of home since I was 17 years, and yet today, I feel finally like I have nothing left to prove or justify, establish or know. I can just be. Be. I can be a human BEING. Not a human doing. Content. Yes. Sigh. Oh yes. I like it here. I am small and strong. It is warm and comfortable. I can see. I try not to think as much. I feel like the waves in my head are calming. The sea between my ears is turning to fresh water lakes. And springs are coming from the joy I will feel. I am cosy here. I think I will stay. A little while perhaps. Forever I presume. I do not need to leave because this temple is working for me now. It always was working for me, I just couldn't trust it for awhile. I knew the system. I have had my list of things to tick off. I have achieved what I have needed to. Proven things to myself that no one else even needs to know. But I'm moving in, no need for renovations. No one else allowed in but I will smile from the windows. Because at the moment I really fucking love my life.
............x. n.

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